


How Would You Draw Me?

by Pepper_Sanders



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-08-20 10:50:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepper_Sanders/pseuds/Pepper_Sanders
Summary: Lucas has fallen in love with the street artist, Raccoon. No one knows who he is, but Lucas, with the help of his friends, is determined to find out his identity.





	1. Chapter 1

Lucas dialed Yann’s number and waited impatiently for him to pick up. “Did you hear that they may have figured out Raccoon’s identity?” Lucas asked breathlessly.

“Hello to you, too,” Yann said. He sounded like he had just awakened from a nap, his voice still lazy with sleep. “Didn't they say it could be like ten different people?”

“Well some thinktank geo-profiled him like they did Banksy and they think they have it figured out. It’s supposed to be a kid that goes to our Uni.”

“Really, what’s his name?”

“Hold on, I didn’t recognize the name.” Lucas pulled up the article on his laptop. “It says that he's a third-year...his name is Idriss Bakhellal.”

“I think I know Idriss. He’s in one of my philosophy classes. It’s in a large lecture hall, so I don’t really 'know him-know him'."

“Do you know if he’s...you know...into guys?”

“No, Lucas, I don’t know. How in the hell would I know that?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ve seen him hanging with someone, holding hands, you know, that sort of thing.”

Yann chuckled. “I haven’t seen him holding hands with anyone. I think I nodded to him once. There’s a small minority of Black students here, but I’ve never seen him at any of the Black Students Association meetings, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to him outside of class.”

Lucas paused. “You know, Yann...now that I think of it; his last name does sound familiar. I think there is a girl in my Biology class with that last name. It’s not a lecture hall class, but it’s still pretty large.”

“Ok, because you’re my best friend, I’ll do some stalking of this Idriss guy, and you check out the girl in your class; see if they’re related. We’ll reconvene at the end of the week.”

“Operation Raccoon is on!” Lucas was excited; he was going to meet the person he had been admiring for years and stalking for the last year. Well, at least stalking in his mind since no one had a clue of the street artist's identity.

“Lucas, please don’t get too worked up. I know you’ve been in love with this artist since you saw that piece on the bridge near La Petite Ceinture.”

“But that piece is why I think he may be gay or queer; it was definitely a sign. Two men kissing in the rain?"

“It's questionable if the drawing is of two men -- one sort of looks like an alien or the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Anyway, he could be an ally...or he could be a she...and would you date a -?”

Lucas cut him off. “Nah, I tried that...didn’t work out so well.”

“Exactly...so I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. And he’s pretty famous, although no one knows who he...or she... is. I mean you’re a catch, but I’m sure there would be plenty of people fanboying and fangirling over this poor chap because they feel they are connected to him because of his art. And even still, what if he’s a horrible or boring person in real life. You have to separate the artist from the person.”

“The 'don’t ever meet your idols or heroes' argument.”

“Exactly.”

“I'm sorry, Yann, I am in love with the hands who made me feel again and the person connected to those hands. They made me believe in love. They made me believe in a higher power."

“You are so fucking dramatic,” Yann sighed. Lucas could almost hear him roll his eyes through the phone. “Ok, Operation Raccoon is on. May the odds be ever in your favor, Lucas, but remember, I warned you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Lucas sat in the University Common room waiting for Yann. Yann had texted him earlier to let him know he had news about Operation Raccoon. Lucas had befriended Imane Bakhellal, the girl in his science class, and confirmed she was Idriss's sister. He had finally been able to corner her in the science lab, but she had abruptly cut him off as soon as he asked anything about her brother. It seemed that the news had spread, and he wasn't the only one interested in meeting the new "Banksy". He recruited his two other close friends, Arthur and Basile, to help with Operation Raccoon, but so far Yann was the only one who had any news.

Lucas waved Yann over as he spotted him entering the room. Yann walked over to sit on the armchair next to Lucas, a large grin on his face.

"Ok, are you going to say something?" Lucas sat on the edge of the couch; he knew Yann was purposefully making him wait for the new information.

"So, I have good news and bad news," Yann finally said. "Which do you want to hear first?"

"Bad news." Lucas pulled his finger from his mouth, realizing he had been chewing on one of his nails.

"Idriss insists he is not Raccoon. He wrote the news outlet that first released the story and has agreed to take a polygraph test to prove it."

"Can't lie detector tests be beaten if you know how to do it?"

"I don't know, Lucas, but I don't believe he's Raccoon after talking to him."

Lucas sank back in the couch. "The science behind geo-profiling seems pretty legit." Lucas sighed. "Ok, give me the good news."

"I knew you would be doubtful, so when Idriss invited me to hang with him and some of his friends at Club Social, I said I would bring some friends. You can feel him out for yourself."

Lucas sat back up. "Nice! So when are we going?"

"It's tonight at 6. They are having talent night, and his sister is doing some kind of dance-poetry performance."

"His sister is Imane; she's the one in my science class. I couldn't get much out of her; it seems like more than a few people read the article and want to confirm if Idriss is really Raccoon, so she wasn't having it."

"Well, keep it chill tonight, Lucas. I know you, and you are not very subtle when you're trying to get information out of someone."

"What do you mean?" Lucas placed his hand on his chest in mock offense.

"Like the time you were trying to find out if Arthur was dating his mom's Pilates instructor, and you showed us that article about dating older women, then proceeded to talk about how you were interested in looking for a yoga or Pilates class for your mother so she could relieve some stress. Then you asked if any of us had any recommendations for instructors."

"Not my finest work, but I was really looking for a class for my mom, and that was an excellent article on the pros and cons of dating older women."

"Hmm, how about that time you were trying to determine if Simon was into guys and you kept asking him questions about celebrities he had crushes on, but you only mentioned male celebrities?”

"I vaguely recall that. Simon was so confusing; I am still unsure where he landed. Too bad he moved away and showed zero interest in me." Lucas laughed. "Ok, ok, I will try to keep it cool tonight."

***

Later that evening, Lucas, Yann, and Arthur walked into Club Social. It was part bar, part club, and part social experiment. Many of the University students hung there on the weekends. Inside the club, walls of screens flashed with pictures of partygoers as they uploaded shots of their night to the club's app. The app also had a real-time dating site component that mostly boiled down to an easier way to hook up with other people at the club for the night. Yann, Lucas, and Arthur each took a picture in the photo booth and entered the dimly lit club.

They spotted a group in the corner and Idriss waved them over. After introductions were made, they quieted as Imane finally took the stage. Lucas was in awe; she was mesmerizing. He had never seen someone express so much emotion through dance. He glanced at Idriss--so he wasn't the only artist in the family. Idriss was handsome, tall and dark with a shaved head. He wore his cool casually, and he and Lucas hit it off immediately. They knew a few of the same people and had similar tastes in music, but after a few minutes of hanging out, Lucas knew it was not going to be a love match.

Imane returned from the stage, excited and breathless. Lucas and everyone at their table congratulated her on her performance. She high-fived her friend, Alexis, a curvy, fit girl who wore purple highlights woven through her light brown hair and a quick, warm smile. Yann looked over at Lucas and lifted his brows as he watched Arthur huddle closer to Alexis. 

Lucas excused himself to use the restroom, and when he returned there was someone new sitting at their table. The boy was tall with light brown hair that was fluffy and thick. He had blue-gray eyes that reminded Lucas of the sea or the sky on a day right before a summer storm came through. Yann called his name and he realized he had been standing on the edge of the floor staring at the new guy. He finished the last few steps to their table and sat next to the stranger. 

"Lucas, I want to introduce you to my good friend and roomie, Eliott. Eliott, this is Lucas, Yann's friend," Idriss explained.

Lucas shook hands with Eliott and looked up at the brightest smile he had ever seen. He was mesmerized. Yann kicked him under the table.

"Ow!" He glared at Yann, but the kick had brought him back to Earth.

"Sorry I'm late, guys, I had to finish something up. I heard you did a great job, Imane...sorry I missed it." Eliott smiled softly at Imane.

"It's cool," Imane said. Eliott reached over, and he and Imane did some elaborate hand-shake that made Lucas feel a brief sting of jealousy. He wanted an elaborate hand-shake with this beautiful, blue-eyed angel.

The DJ's voice boomed over the loudspeaker. "Hopefully, you've downloaded our app. Thanks for uploading your pictures to the Wall. Remember to send love to your fellow partiers. Before we kick off the night with music, use your app to vote for the winner of our talent show. Voting will close in ten minutes." The DJ cut the mic off and played an upbeat pop tune.

Everyone at the table pulled out their phones to vote. Lucas looked over at Imane. "I hope you win; you deserve it."

"Thanks, Lucas." She looked around the table and furrowed her brow. "Where's Alexis?"

Lucas and Yann looked around and saw Arthur and Alexis in a corner kissing.

Yann groaned. "Let me go break that up so they can vote."

Imane laughed. "Leave them be. Looks like they may be the only ones getting lucky tonight." Imane looked down at the club's app on her phone.

"Good thing you are here to perform and nothing else. Plus, I'm going to tell Sofiane if you keep looking at that app," Idriss jokingly chided.

"Who's Sofiane?" Lucas asked.

"One of my friends and flatmates who Imane won't admit she's in luuuub with!" Idriss made kissing noises toward his sister.

"Oh, stop it." Imane laughed, but Lucas saw her blush a little at her brother's words. She absently fixed the hijab she wore although it was already perfectly wrapped around her pretty, brown face.

Lucas's phone buzzed; he looked down to see a message from Yann.

** Yann**: You're being a little too cool. You haven't asked Idriss anything about being Raccoon. I'm going to bring it up.

"Hey, how does it feel being semi-famous?" Yann asked Idriss.

"You mean that Raccoon stuff? It's died down a little. I was able to get them to retract that article. I'm going to do the polygraph anyway to prove it's not me."

"I heard the science behind the geo-profiling method is pretty accurate if done right," Lucas added. He knew Idriss was destined to only be a good friend, but Lucas was still a big Raccoon fan. He searched Idriss's face and body for any tell signs.

"Well, obviously they messed up somewhere," Imane interjected. "Idriss can't even draw a straight line using a ruler."

Idriss playfully punched his sister on the shoulder. "She's mean, but she always tells the truth."

"My friend here is the biggest Raccoon fan." Yann pointed toward Lucas. "He practically-"

Lucas kicked Yann under the table cutting off whatever he was getting ready to say about Lucas's obsession with Raccoon.

"Ow!" Yann glared at Lucas as he reached under the table to rub his shin.

Lucas smiled sweetly back at him. It was retribution for Yann's earlier kick, but he also didn't want Eliott to know about his fanboy obsession with Raccoon. 

"I was a fan a couple of years back when he first hit the scene," Lucas said cooly.

"Me, too." Eliott turned toward Lucas and leaned closer to him. "Raccoon did that Drowning Man painting a couple of years ago. It's on a building near one of my favorite bakeries, so I always see it."

"I remember that painting. I always thought it was a little dark, but it resonated with me at the time because I was going through some stuff at home and school." Lucas looked over at Yann who sent him a supportive smile. His last year and a half before University had been rough. He had just come out to his friends and family and then his home life had imploded. His mother had always struggled with depression but it had worsened when his dad left to start a new family with someone he had met at work. Lucas had found it difficult to stay at home and had slept on his friends' couches for several months before graduation. It had been one of the roughest periods of his life. "That painting made me feel like I wasn't the only one struggling to keep my head above water," he said quietly.

Lucas looked up and saw Eliott staring at him. He quickly looked down and felt his face flush. He was glad it was dim in the club and hoped Eliott didn't notice the blush. "Anyway, sorry for getting so serious."

"No, don't apologize." Eliott touched his hand, and Lucas swore he felt a quick shock course through his body. "I felt the same way about that painting."

Lucas smiled at Eliott and was able to meet his eyes again. The color had changed, deepened to a blue so dark, it reminded him of the deepest part of the ocean.

"Ok, guys, let's break this up," Idriss teased. He sent a pointed look at Eliott that Lucas couldn't read. He wondered what that was about.

Eliott moved back to settle in his seat. "Anyway, the bakery I was talking about; they have the best blueberry bacon muffins. I want you to try them. They'll change your life."

Lucas laughed, missing the closeness they had just shared but appreciating the shift in mood because he had been finding it particularly difficult to breathe. "I doubt that. That sounds like too much contrast for my palate."

"Contrast is the spice of life, so now I really have to prove it to you. You can't go through life with such pedestrian tastes. Give me your phone." Eliott reached his hands out to Lucas.

Lucas passed his phone and watched as Eliott typed in his name and number with his long, thin fingers. Eliott then called his own phone. "I saved my number on your phone, and I'll save yours and text you the address and time we can meet. You really have to try them."

Lucas took his phone from Eliott and looked around the table. Most of their friends had turned to listen to the DJ who was announcing the winner of the talent competition, but he noticed Idriss was still looking at Eliott. He saw Eliott shrug from the corner of his eye. Yann was looking at him, and he offered the same shrug.

His phone buzzed, and he looked down as the Club Social app reminded him to show some love to the pictures the patrons had uploaded. He noticed a picture of Eliott and pressed the like button several times.

"...And the winner is...Imane Bakhellal!" the DJ announced over the loudspeakers. Their table erupted in claps and cheers as Imane ran up to the stage to claim her cash prize.

Eliott cursed as his phone buzzed. "Lucille, let me call you back, I'm at-." Eliott grumbled and then pulled himself from the table and walked to the front of the club where it was less noisy, holding his phone to his ear.

Lucas looked over at Idriss who followed his friend with his eyes before turning his gaze to Lucas. "Lucille is his on-again-off-again girlfriend. He'll probably be gone for a while if he even returns." Idriss shrugged as if in apology.

Lucas felt his heart sink. Had he misread everything that had happened in the last few minutes? Was he that obtuse? 

Arthur finally returned to their table and sat in the now empty seat next to Lucas. "Guys! Alexis is amazing. I owe you big time for inviting me out tonight." Arthur looked over at the dance floor where Imane and Alexis were now dancing together in celebration of Imane's win. "I'm going to join them on the dance floor...are you coming?"

Lucas felt deflated and didn't want to join in the fun although he was happy for Imane. He shook his head. Yann told Arthur to go have fun and he'd join in a few minutes.

"Well, I'm going to see if I can find any of the girls who liked my picture," Idriss said as he also left the table.

Yann and Lucas sat at the table and looked out at their friends. Lucas looked towards the front of the club but could no longer see Eliott.

"So, I guess you're no longer pining for Raccoon. Feeling someone else?"

"He has a girlfriend. I guess I misread the past thirty minutes. It's Simon all over again," Lucas sighed.

"Except Simon wasn't that good looking," Yann teased.

"Not even close. Fuck me, I always fall for the wrong people. The anonymous, unattainable Raccoon, and now some guy who I just met-- real, but just as unavailable."

Yann looked over at a screen that displayed the patron likes. "So you're the one that gave Eliott's picture a hundred likes."

"I'm sure I wasn't the only one," Lucas mumbled. 

Yann laughed. "How many, Lu?"

"Maybe 90 of them, give or take a few." Lucas felt his face flush again.

"Oh, wow, now that's just embarrassing."

Lucas chuckled. He looked over at Idriss who was talking to a blonde girl at the bar. "I think you're right. I don't think Idriss is Raccoon. I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Yann reached over to pat Lucas lightly on the back. "Let's go enjoy ourselves. We're only this young and handsome for so long."


	3. Chapter 3

Lucas sat in the University cafe with his friends - Yann, Arthur, and Basile. Arthur had just finished telling them about his first date with Alexis.

"Yeah, Basile, you should have been there," Lucas said. "It seems like everyone got lucky except for me. Arthur ended up with Imane's friend, Alexis, and before the night was over Yann hooked up with one of the bartenders."

"She's pretty cute, too," Yann boasted. "We're supposed to go out again next week."

Lucas stuck his tongue out at Yann, but he was happy for his friend. Yann had just ended a complicated relationship with his girlfriend from high school, and the fallout had been pretty rough.

"What happened to Idriss's friend...?" Yann snapped his fingers trying to recall the name. "Eliott?"

"It's been a couple of weeks, and I haven't heard from him." Lucas had triple-checked his phone and voicemails every day for the past couple of weeks, hoping for a call from Eliott, but it had been radio silence from his end.

"He gave you his number. Why don't you call him?" Yann asked.

"I don't know...the whole girlfriend thing. I'm not sure if he was even feeling me like that or even dates guys."

Yann shrugged as he took a bite of his burger. "He was into you, too, based on what I saw that night."

"You should text him," Arthur advised. "Just keep it chill and see what he says."

"I'm in the same boat, Lucas," Basile said. "I'm really feeling this TA in my History lecture class, but I don't know how to approach her."

Arthur looked over at Basile. "Are you talking about Daphne? Half the guys in that class want to talk to her. Isn't she dating that soccer star?"

"Who cares?" Basile shrugged. "Nothing can stand between true love."

Arthur shook his head. "Basile, she hasn't said two words to you this whole semester. I want to support you, man, but how are you going to get from that to dating her given that she's currently dating sports royalty? I just don't want you to get hurt or waste your time when there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

"She's said more than two words to me," Basile countered. "Just last week she told me I should try harder if I wanted to pass the class."

Lucas and Yann laughed. "Give him a break, Arthur. The heart wants what it wants," Yann said with a wink.

"Speaking of the heart wanting what it wants..." Basile turned toward Lucas. "Is Operation Raccoon still on?"

Lucas was tempted to keep Basile in the hot seat, but he had been thinking about Operation Raccoon moments before. "The website that posted the article on Idriss just reported that there was a mistake in the algorithm. It seems that Raccoon is not a student here...or he may be, but they have to recalibrate to be sure," Lucas explained.

"Well...I spent last week uploading the pictures we all took from the known Raccoon sites." Basile opened his laptop. "I combined our pictures and ran that face recognition application I told you guys about, but I didn't get any similar hits. I don't think we have a large enough sample size."

Lucas looked at his friends. They had all been willing to help him on this idiotic search. "I love you, guys."

"Awww," Arthur teased. He reached over to hug Lucas who swatted his arm away. 

"I'm serious, Arthur." Lucas looked at each of his friends. "You guys have humored me long enough. Raccoon could literally be anyone; he could even be one of you, but I know none of you could keep a secret that long." 

"I say, where there's smoke there's fire," Arthur said as he banged his hands on the table. "The geo-profile was on to something. Raccoon probably _is_ a student here, but we all pretty much hang out at the same spots, so they just need to tweak the algorithm. The problem is, even if they determine who it is, they may not put the name out there again because of their first mistake."

Lucas sighed. "It doesn't matter. Even if we find out who Raccoon is, what are the odds of us meeting each other and falling in love? I was living in a fantasy world; it's probably time I accepted that and just enjoy his or her art for what it is. I guess I got too excited when I realized Raccoon was actually a student here. It made it seem like they were somehow accessible...attainable even. But what right do I have to impose on them like that just because I love their work so much?"

"I say, don't give up, Lucas." Basile turned to face him. "I think we should never give up on the things or people that set our heart on fire. Now, if you find out who he is, and he is not into you or doesn't even want to talk about his art, that's one thing, but you shouldn't give up until that point."

Arthur looked at Basile and smiled. "Hmm, Basile...that was actually really good advice there. I've been a jerk, and I should support you on your quest to win Daphne's heart." Basile playfully pushed Arthur. "Basile's right," Arthur continued. "Even if it's not a love connection, you still really appreciate Raccoon's work. They may be willing to at least talk to you about it, and that's worth something, too." 

Basile turned his laptop to face Lucas. "This article here says that Raccoon just put something up near La Rochere." Lucas looked down at the laptop to read the article and study the new painting. It was a picture of two interlocked hands and the words "Thinking of you" encircling them.

"Well, looks like Raccoon got lucky, too," Lucas moaned.

"Don't give up," Basile said, patting him on the back.

"You're right. I have to go to a bookstore near La Rochere anyway. Maybe I'll just walk around, see what I get from the area."

"There's the spirit, Lucas," Yann said. "Operation Raccoon is still in effect."

****

The next morning, Lucas walked down the street near La Rochere. He had studied the painting of the two hands -- so simple and yet so stylistically moving. It reminded him of something that he couldn't quite place.

He was about to head to the bus stop to head back to his dorm room when he spotted a familiar face. "Imane, hey Imane, how are you?"

Imane turned toward him and waved. "Hey, Lucas, what are you doing out here?"

"Just picking up a book I need for class. What about you?"

She looked down and nervously placed the brown paper bag she was holding behind her back. "Just picking up some supplies for a DIY home project."

"Something interesting?" Lucas asked, staring intently at the bag Imane seemed to be trying to hide from his view. The bag was from a nearby art store.

"Just something to spice up my room," she offered. "I wanted to tell you thanks for supporting me at Club Social the other night. Everyone seemed to hit it off."

"Yeah, especially our two friends Arthur and Alexis."

Imane chuckled. "I hear it's still going strong."

Lucas nodded. "It is..." He wanted to ask her about Eliott but didn't want to seem too desperate, so he refrained.

"Well, I have to head back, so I guess I'll see you in class next week." Imane gave him a quick hug as they said their goodbyes.

Lucas watched her walk away and pulled out his phone to text his friends.

**Lucas**: What if Imane is Raccoon, guys? It would explain why they profiled her brother. I mean the art doesn't really fit her, but I just ran into her over here by La Rochere. What are the odds?

**Yann**: I don't know, Lucas. That is a coincidence, and I know I said Raccoon could be a guy or a girl, but I get a masculine vibe from the art.

**Lucas**: That's very sexist, Yann.

**Yann**: 🙄

Lucas was about to put his phone in his pocket when it buzzed. It was Eliott.

"Hey, Lucas."

"Hi, Eliott." Lucas's heart felt like it was in his throat. Why was he so nervous?

"Umm, sorry it's taken me a while to reach out, but something came up."

"No problem," Lucas said. He would not let him know he had been hurt by the disappearing act. He would keep it chill.

"So, those blueberry bacon muffins I told you about...want to grab some and a cup of coffee with me tomorrow."

"Um, sure." Lucas jumped up in excitement, startling an elderly lady walking by him. "Sorry," he mouthed as he pointed to the phone. "It's a date."

"A date?" Eliott asked.

Lucas groaned inwardly. Why did he say that?

"You know, I didn't mean a date-date, just a confirmed meeting," Lucas stammered.

Eliott chuckled as if he enjoyed hearing Lucas sweat it out in embarrassment. "Ok, a 'not-date, confirmed meeting' it is. I'll text you the address. Let's meet at ten, right when they finish the first baking, so we'll get the best ones."

"Ok," Lucas said. He was still flushing from embarrassment but couldn't stop the silly, happy grin that wanted to burst free from his mouth.

"We can spend the day together on our not-date if you have time."

"Sounds like a...plan," Lucas teased.

Eliott laughed before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Lucas texted his friends about the news. He hadn't figured out who Raccoon was, but he had a not-date the following day with a guy that made him feel just like Raccoon's paintings did.


	4. Chapter 4

The following day, Lucas took the bus to the address Eliott sent him. He walked by Raccoon's Drowning Man painting, which was a few buildings down from the bakery. If the smells emanating from the bakery were any indication of how good the food was, he was about to be proven wrong about the infamous blueberry bacon muffins.

Eliott was standing at the counter when he walked through the door. The sunlight streaming through the large windows illuminated the light brown natural highlights in his hair. He turned to welcome Lucas with a wide smile. Lucas's gaze shifted to his lips, he wanted to kiss him right then and there, with the sunlight streaming around him and the smell of a home he never knew surrounding them. He refrained and settled for a hug.

"I'm so happy you made it. Get ready to be amazed." Eliott seemed more upbeat than he had the night at the club. His bright, bouncy attitude was infectious.

They sat at a table near the window with coffee and muffins. Lucas took a bite of the warm treat and hummed. It really was one of the best things he had ever tasted.

"Ok, this is amazing," he admitted as he took another big bite of the treat.

"I told you." Eliott was beaming.

"I walked by the Drowning Man painting on the way over here. Has Idriss recovered from all the attention?"

"He's fine. I think he rather enjoyed the fame for a minute. There are a few people who still believe he's Raccoon."

"The funny thing is I thought it might be Imane?"

Eliott paused mid-bite. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I was thinking if they geo-profiled Raccoon but hit the wrong person, it stands to reason it would be someone who goes to the same places, someone like a sibling or a room-"

"But why Imane?" Eliott asked.

Lucas couldn't believe he hadn't considered...but it couldn't be. Or could it? He wasn't sure, but he thought he recalled that Eliott shared a flat with Idriss and one other person.

"Hello...Earth to Lucas...why Imane? Where did you go?"

Lucas studied Eliott. He looked at his long, slim fingers...an artist's hands.

"Ummm...yeah, sorry, I saw her near one of Raccoon's paintings the other day, and she was trying to hide a bag from an art shop near there. I just wondered."

Eliott smiled and sipped his coffee. He looked intently at Lucas.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just like looking at you...your face makes me happy."

Lucas laughed, felt his neck and cheeks heat up. Should he be so bold to ask? It was ludicrous that Eliott could be Raccoon, but it made sense. The question was on his lips when his phone buzzed. It was a message from Basile.

**Basile**: Hey, Lucas. Another outlet just posted a story about Raccoon. It seems they figured it out, and he's a grad level art student here at our school. His name is Demetri. Everything is checking out, and he's not confirming or denying it.

**Lucas**: Really? Because I was thinking it could be someone else...

**Basile**: Who? I'll send you the article and you can see for yourself. It seems pretty legit, and his picture popped up in one of the places we staked out.

"What's going on?" Eliott asked as Lucas quickly read the article Basile forwarded.

"Seems like Raccoon is neither Idriss nor Imane. He's some art student named Demetri."

"Oh, wow. Does it seem like they have the right person this time?"

"Based on this article and what Basile is saying, it seems like it." Lucas was a little disappointed. It didn't matter; it was probably best if Eliott wasn't Raccoon. He chuckled to himself. He had gone too far down the rabbit (or raccoon) hole.

"What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about all I've done to try to meet this Raccoon guy and figure out who he is?"

"You've been trying to figure out who he is? What have you done?"

Lucas didn't want to seem like the stalker he had become. He wasn't sure if Eliott was feeling the same way he felt toward him, but he didn't want to ruin his chances (even if they were slim). "I was just interested in his work. Raccoon had put up the Drowning Man painting around the time I came out to my friends and family. At the same time, everything went to hell at home."

"How do you mean?"

Lucas paused, not wanting to darken the light mood of the day, but there was something about Eliott that made him want to open up in a way that he couldn't even do with his closest friends. "My mom had always suffered from depression, but after my dad left us, it got so bad that I couldn't deal. I know it might sound callous, but I felt like I was literally drowning, so I left home and was kind of homeless for a while. I just decided that life is hard enough without adding another layer of craziness to it."

Eliott was quiet, still; something had shifted in his blue-gray eyes, but Lucas couldn't read him, so he continued. "When I came out, my friends were supportive, but there was a group of kids who relentlessly gave me shit. Part of it was because I had tried to date the sister of one of the Lacrosse players at our high school, tried to come to terms with staying in the closet, and made a mess of everything. I was wearing a mask and it started to wear thin, especially with what was going on at home. That's around the time I found Raccoon's work; all of his paintings just helped me through everything, made me feel like I wasn't going through all the shit alone."

Eliott nodded. "I'm happy that his work did that for you. I was also going through some heavy shit around the same time and felt the same way." Eliott didn't go into detail, and Lucas didn't push; the mood had shifted and Lucas wanted to change the subject, wanted to bring back the bright moment of a few minutes before.

"Anyway, what do you have planned for the rest of our not-date?" Lucas asked.

Eliott looked down at his phone, studied it although Lucas had not heard it buzz or ping. "Sorry Lucas, something came up and I'll have to cut our not-date short. I'll walk you to the bus stop."

They threw away their trash and exited the bakery. As they walked down the treelined street to the bus stop, Lucas's mind was reeling. He felt like he had fucked up somewhere. Had he shared too much? Had he talked too much about Raccoon...but Eliott had seemed like a fan as well. Was it Lucille? Were they off or on at the moment? He wanted to say something that would stop his heart from feeling like it was stuck in his throat, but all he could do was silently walk beside Eliott to the bus stop.

Lucas's bus was the first to arrive. As it crested the hill in the distance, Eliott turned toward him.

"Thank you for spending the morning with me. I enjoyed it."

"Me, too," Lucas whispered.

They stood staring at each other for what seemed like several minutes to Lucas but was only a few seconds. Eliott glanced at Lucas's mouth, then shifted his gaze to his eyes, but didn't lean forward. Lucas wanted to kiss him, but was unsure if it would be reciprocated. Eliott's gaze moved upward, and he reached out and gently touched a strand of Lucas's unruly hair, then stepped back. The bus pulled to the stop.

"I'll see you around, Lucas." Eliott gave him a small smile as Lucas reluctantly turned to board the bus.

Lucas wanted to rewind time, bring back the light and the feeling of home he had felt just a few minutes before in the bakery. He stepped on the bus and gave a small wave to Eliott, praying that it wasn't the last time he would spend time with him.


	5. Chapter 5

Lucas was bored. It had been several weeks since his breakfast with Eliott. His dorm roommate, Mika, had gone back home for the weekend, and both Yann and Arthur were out on dates. He texted Basile, and a few minutes later he met him in the Student Center for a game of table tennis. They bought snacks and drinks from the vending machine and sat on one of the couches lining the wall to wait their turn on the table.

"So how is it going with Daphne?" Lucas asked as he popped the tab on his soda can.

"Good news there; I heard she broke up with that soccer player."

"That's a step in the right direction. I owe you one for helping me with Operation Raccoon. We need to start 'Operation Baphne' or 'Operation Dasile' soon."

"I'm partial to Dasile, it has a nice ring to it...sounds like an exotic car or flower. Baphne is too close to baffled."

"But Dasile could be too close to asylum,” Lucas teased.

”Well, I am crazy in love and she could be my refuge...either way, it works,” Basile chuckled.

”Here's to Dasile!" Lucas laughed as he and Basile clicked soda cans together in a toast.

"Speaking of Operation Raccoon," Basile began. "Have you seen all the paintings he's been doing around town?"

"I hadn't been keeping up much with Raccoon. I've had other stuff on my mind."

"Eliott hasn't called or texted you, yet?"

Lucas looked over at his friend and shook his head. He felt like he was on the verge of tears and inwardly kicked himself for getting so attached so fast. "Our not-date was going so well...until it wasn't."

"What happened?"

"We were having a good time, then I brought up Raccoon and how his art had helped me when I was in high school. Maybe I got too serious too soon, or he was sick of me talking about Raccoon. Anyway, I thought he was going to kiss me before I got on the bus, but he just did this weird thing to my hair."

"Hmmm, you think he was picking something out of it? You do often have little pieces of glitter or lint stuck in there." Basile waved his hands around Lucas's head and frowned.

"Really? Why don't you guys ever tell me? The glitter is probably from Mika's stuff. Do I have something in it now?"

Basile laughed and shook his curly head. He leaned over to look in Lucas’s hair, "You're good..and now you have someone who wants to pick shit out of it for you."

"No, I don't...he keeps ghosting me. Maybe he's just a fuckboy who comes across like a really good dude."

"He'll come around, and if he doesn't, eff him! You're the catch here, not him."

Lucas chuckled. "Thanks, Basile." Lucas knew it wasn't going to be that easy to forget Eliott, but he was thankful he had friends with whom he could commiserate. "So, what's new with Raccoon?"

"He's been painting all of these little cartoon characters; it's so different from his usual work, and there are so many of them. There are little raccoons and hedgehogs all around town doing mundane things together - eating breakfast, shopping, watching tv. It's a far cry from the style he used with Drowning Man or Kissing in the Rain."

"I get the Racoons...but Hedgehogs? I wonder what happened?" Lucas mused.

"The articles are surmising that Demetri fell in love or something and now his work is suffering because of it. Look at this."

Lucas looked at the pictures on Basile's phone. The raccoons and hedgehogs were cute but very different from Raccoon's usual work. They had an endearing folk quality about them that made Lucas smile. Lucas read the words Raccoon had written above a painting of the two animals sitting together in a restaurant: "Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you." Lucas looked up from the phone at Basile. "Oh, wow, he's in deep if he's quoting Woolf. Poor fella. So have they concluded it is really Demetri?"

"It looks like it, although he is refusing to confirm or do any interviews. Did you still want to try to talk to him...at least about the art?"

Lucas shook his head. "For some reason, I've lost interest right now, but I bet in a few weeks the critics will be raving about these little animals." Lucas looked up as he felt Basile staring at him. "What?"

"I know you guys don't think I have a chance in hell of getting with Daphne, but if she showed me even half the interest Eliott has shown you, I wouldn't give up unless she wanted me to...and then I would just pine from afar." He paused. "I think you should swallow your pride and give him a call."

"And say what?"

"Invite him to that pretentious party you're going to."

Lucas had been so hurt by Eliott's disappearing act that he had pushed the Crow’s Ball to the back of his mind. He was a music student and had been invited to play at the annual fundraiser that the school's alumnae held each year. The party had been named after the first Dean of Students, Daniel Crow, who had focused his altruistic endeavors on helping indigent students in the arts get scholarships to attend the school. Crow had also had a thing for masquerade balls. Lucas had been one of the recipients of a Crow scholarship as an entering freshman.

"Pretentious, huh?"

"You know it is," Basile teased. "It's a masquerade ball in a mansion."

Lucas laughed, "Yeah, it is pretty pretentious. I should be practicing a lot more. A group of music majors will be performing that night, but I have a solo piano piece to play."

"Invite him and don't take ‘no’ for an answer."

Lucas smiled at Basile as the table cleared for them to play. "If you beat me in a best of three match-up in table tennis, then I'll do it."

Basile rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Oh, get ready to take your lint-picking, lover boy to a masquerade ball, my friend. I've been practicing. My dating life has been non-existent for a very long time, and table tennis has been my outlet."

*******

Less than an hour later and Lucas was staring at his phone in trepidation. He couldn't believe Basile had beaten him; he hadn't been that good just a few months earlier.

Basile nodded toward the phone as Lucas hesitantly called Eliott. It rang several times, and Lucas was just about to hang up when Eliott picked up.

"Hey, Lucas. Can I call you back; I'm sort of in the middle of something?"

He looked over at Basile who gave him a thumbs-up sign.

"Hi, Eliott. This will be quick. I just wanted to invite you to the Crow's Ball next week."

"Umm, I don't think I'll be able to make that, Lucas."

"Look, I don't know what happened last time, but I feel like I fucked up and did or said something wrong, and-"

Eliott cut him off. "You didn't do anything wrong, Lucas. I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Ok...I can understand that." He was about to give up, but Basile was standing in front of him moving his hands as if telling him to push through. He took a deep breath. “You see, I have to perform at this event, and I'm really nervous and none of my other friends can make it. I really need a friend, Eliott, because I'm kind of freaking out." He was freaking out a little, mainly because he had been so sad and anxious about Eliott that he hadn't been practicing as he should. "It's not a date...think of it as another not-date."

He heard Eliott sigh. There was silence for several long beats, so long that Lucas thought Eliott had hung up until he heard him clear his throat. "I want to support you."

"Will you be able to get your hands on a tux and a mask?"

"Send me the location and time, and I'll be there...and I'll dress to impress."


	6. Chapter 6

The following week, Lucas and Yann met at Arthur's place so that Lucas could get dressed for the Ball. Arthur shared a home near campus with four other students and had his own large bedroom with its own bathroom.

"You're so lucky, dude," Lucas said as he looked around the spacious bedroom. "Mika and I are practically on top of each other, and he is such a nosy roommate; I hardly get any privacy."

"It is a sweet spot," Yann agreed as he looked around the room. "Where's Basile?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? He talked Daphne into some study session to help him prepare for the next test," Arthur explained. "I think she felt sorry for him, but it's a step in the right direction."

"Good for him. You know he was the one who helped me with Eliott when you two were too busy with your new girlfriends. Single-man solidarity!"

"Well, I don't think you’ll be single for long. You look good tonight...I see you're growing out your hair." Arthur pulled his eyeglass down on his nose and huffed a blonde tendril of hair from his forehead as he studied Lucas. "I’m digging the bed-head thing you got going on there; it's kind of sexy, but we need to structure it a little bit more."

Yann chuckled. "Arthur, hook him up!" Yann had moved to sit on the edge of the bed and was trying to find music on his phone to BlueTooth to Arthur's stereo system. He finally settled on some American rap music. 

Arthur grabbed some hair mousse from his bathroom and rubbed it in his hands. He moved his fingers through Lucas's hair before handing him the blue bejeweled mask he would be wearing. "Oooh la la, Eliott is not going to stand a chance tonight," Arthur said as he stepped back to admire his work.

Lucas turned to face the large mirror on Arthur's dresser. Surprisingly, Arthur had made his thick, unruly hair look edgy and styled. He wore a tuxedo, which he had rented for the night, and the blue mask complimented his blue eyes. It was rare that he actually liked what he saw in the mirror, but even he could admit he looked good. "Wish me luck, guys."

"Go get your man, Lu!" Yann hooted as they ushered him out the door.

****

The alumnae group had pulled out all the stops to raise money and celebrate their past scholarship recipients. A black sedan picked Lucas up from Arthur's house a few minutes after he sent the address to the organizer. Thirty minutes later and they pulled up to Eliott's street. Eliott stood near the curb outside his flat. He held a black, simple lace mask in his left hand and looked dapper in his fitted tux. His usually touseled hair had been trimmed and styled, although it was still long enough to feather at the ends. He looked amazing, and Lucas couldn't help but stare as the sedan pulled to the curb.

He opened the back door to let him inside. He was nervous that Eliott would still be distant and silent, but Eliott smiled and hugged him tightly as he entered the sedan. "You look fucking hot, Lucas."

Lucas's heart sped up a little but he held his composure even though he was screaming inside. He would not talk too much tonight, would not even mention Raccoon's name. "You look pretty hot as well."

"I tried; it was a little last minute."

"I know, and thank you, again, for coming with me. You clean up nicely."

The sedan drove out of the central part of the city and headed west. The scenery outside their window changed from congested city to hilly and spacious suburbs. Apartments and townhomes with pristinely manicured lawns turned into even larger, posh buildings and homes with impressive landscaping as they weaved their way through the more affluent side of town.

Their sedan drove through a large wrought-iron gate and around the circular driveway to the front of a large mansion. Lucas and Eliott put on their masks as attendants opened the door, and Eliott stepped out. He turned to offer his hand to Lucas, who grabbed it and stepped down onto the graveled driveway.

They followed the other well-dressed attendees as they walked the red-carpeted stairwell into a large, grand foyer. Eliott linked Lucas's arm in his own as they continued into the mansion. They both looked around in amazement. The mansion was palatial, a smaller modernized (but still opulent) version of Versailles.

Lucas spoke to a few of the alumnae and donors, most of whom had removed their masks or had them sitting haphazardly on the top of their heads. He didn't know why the planners continued to make it a masquerade ball year after year; he supposed traditions were intractable.

He glanced at Eliott. The mask forced Lucas to focus on his eyes and lips; they were his favorite parts of Eliott's face, so he wasn’t complaining. "Do you think we should remove the masks?"

"I rather like them; I think masks are cool. You could be anyone,” Eliott replied.

"Well, everyone is introducing themselves in order to properly network, so I don’t get the point."

“It’s all for a bit of whimsy and fun, Lucas. Loosen up a little.” Eliott grabbed Lucas’s shoulders with his strong hands and massaged some of the tension away. Lucas instinctively leaned back into his chest.

He was thankful that Eliott was with him; he knew that he had to play the role of a grateful and sharp future leader, as he and his fellow scholarship recipients were shining examples of what the donors’ money could do. 

"Sometimes I feel like such a charity case at these events, but I am grateful for what they did for me. I wouldn't be at such a good school if it weren’t for the Crow Scholarship," he whispered to Eliott after his tenth conversation with a group of donors.

"You shouldn't feel like that; you earned that scholarship, and what you're doing today is helping to secure money for those coming after you. Hopefully, one day, you'll be there to help the people who follow you."

Lucas nodded. "You're right. I'm glad you're here." He looked up at Eliott who was smiling at him. He turned his head toward the small stage that had been set up in the middle of the imperial staircase as the current Dean spoke about the students who would be performing that night. He was up first, and he felt his hands grow clammy with sweat as the Dean called him forward.

"Knock 'em dead, Lucas," Eliott whispered in his ear. His long fingers slid gently down Lucas's neck and then straightened his bow-tie. "You got this." His breath sent shivers down Lucas's spine, but he held his composure as he headed toward the grand piano on a raised dais to the left of the stage.

The crowd quieted as he began to play. He was nervous when he started, but after he struck the first few keys, he began to feel the music in his fingers, then his arms, then throughout his body. He closed his eyes as the melody consumed him, took him over, made him both student and master of his art.

When he opened his eyes again, he searched for Eliott in the crowd and found him. They locked eyes, and Lucas held his gaze as he ran through the final chords of the song. Eliott did not break eye contact, never glanced away, as Lucas played only for him. Lucas did not glance down again until he struck the final key. He dropped his head as a crescendo of applause erupted around him. He stood up on shaky legs and bowed before exiting the stage. Several people shook his hand or clapped him on his back as he made his way back to Eliott.

He looked up at Eliott who had finally removed the mask, his eyes glistened and were full of pride; it made his heart soar. Eliott wore a huge grin on his face, and his eyes had gone soft. "Wow, Lucas...that was...that was amazing. You are amazing."

The rest of the night passed by in a blur. Eliott kept his gaze on Lucas the whole night, and Lucas had never felt so at peace. Lucas was surprised when Eliott wrote his name down to bid on a very expensive silent auction painting donated by a well-known artist who was also an alumnus of the school. Lucas had looked at him askance but Eliott had only joked that it was for the kids.

As the Ball began to wind down, they slowly made their way to the front of the house to be picked up. They were quiet on the ride back to the city, but Eliott held his hand the whole way back.

They pulled up to the curb, and Eliott turned to face him. "Do you want to take a walk with me? I don't want this night to end."

Lucas nodded and smiled, "Yes, I would love that.”

He told the driver that he would be leaving with Eliott. The driver nodded at them; he wore a small, knowing smile on his lips. Eliott leaned over and placed some folded bills in his hand before they exited the sedan.

"You can crash at my place tonight if you want, then take the bus back in the morning."

"Ok, that sounds good."

They walked the streets in silence as night settled on the city. They turned the corner and crossed the street to walk alongside the river's edge. Eliott stopped at its banks, and they paused to lean against the cement railing. They stood like that side by side for several minutes looking out across the water.

"My boyfriend is fucking hot and plays the piano like an angel!" Eliott suddenly yelled out into the night.

The outburst startled Lucas and made him laugh out loud. 

"So, I'm your boyfriend now?"

Eliott turned toward him. "Do you want to be?" He had grown serious, again. “I know we’ve spent all of seven hours together, but I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I’ve been thinking about you and only you since I sat beside you at that club.”

"I feel the same way," Lucas whispered. “I feel like I’ve known you for much longer than I have. I would love to be your boyfriend.”

He couldn't believe what was happening; it felt so surreal. They barely knew each other, had only been on two not-dates.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I needed time to think some things through, and I didn't expect to feel the way I felt about you so quickly; I got scared. I tend to run away when I get scared, but I couldn't get you out of my mind." He leaned closer to Lucas. "I broke it completely off with my girlfriend."

"Because of me?" 

"Well, yes and no. Lucille and I had been going in circles for a long time; we were going nowhere. It was going to happen eventually anyway."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm better than okay, Lucas." Eliott looked up into the night sky before turning to stare into Lucas's eyes. "Can I kiss you? I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night.”

Lucas's heart was beating so quickly he thought it would burst through his chest. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since that night at the club.”

“Me, too," Eliott said quietly.

A rumbling of thunder filled the dark skies as a soft, light rain began to fall. Eliott leaned down and softly brushed Lucas’s lips with his own. That was all it took to break the dam of pent up longing that had taken root inside of Lucas since the first night he had seen Eliott. Eliott met his passion head-on as Lucas tasted Eliott's tongue with his tongue. Eliott deepened the kiss until Lucas felt consumed fully and wholly by his mouth and the hands caressing his face. They finally pulled back from each other, and Eliott pulled him into his chest, held him close for several minutes as they caught their breaths.

Eliott kissed him on the top of his head before releasing him. "Let's head back."

They walked back to Eliott's flat, stealing glances and kisses on the way as they held hands. Eliott unlocked the door and they walked into the darkened room.

"Idriss and Sofiane are traveling this weekend, so you can sleep in one of their rooms...or you can sleep in my room with me."

Lucas felt his face warm. "I can hang out with you...at least for a little while.”

Eliott nodded and kissed him softly again; he then pressed his lips firmly against his mouth over and over again until Lucas felt breathless with yearning and desire.

They walked to the end of the hallway. Eliott asked him to stand outside the door until he straightened up. He heard quick shuffling and cursing, but a few minutes later, Eliott pulled him gently into the room. 

"Sorry, my room was a mess."

"It's no problem," Lucas said as he looked around the simply furnished room.

Eliott removed his clothing, leaving his boxers on, so Lucas did the same, unsure what the night held but willing to follow the lead of the beautiful boy in front of him. Lucas stared at the tiny moles that dotted Eliott's body, constellations that his fingers itched to trace.

Eliott walked over to a turntable-style record player on his dresser and grabbed a record from the shelf. It was a Queen album, and he cut the volume down so the music was background noise to their conversation.

"Do you smoke...weed?" Eliott asked.

"Not often, but yes," Lucas replied.

Eliott opened a small, gold box that sat on the same shelf as his records and pulled a small, plastic bag out of it. He walked over to sit against the headboard of the bed, and Lucas followed suit. Lucas watched as Eliott's nimble fingers rolled and then lit a joint. He pulled the first smoke into his lungs and leaned over to blow it into Lucas's mouth. Lucas let the smoke fill him before releasing it back out in exhalation. They passed the joint back and forth until the lit end almost grazed their fingertips. Eliott put it out in a tray on the bedside table and rested his head against the headboard.

Lucas laid his head against the headboard as well and turned to study Eliott. He noted the contrast of the sharp and soft features of Eliott's face then let his gaze lazily slide down his body to his neck and chest, then lower still. Eliott was beautiful, and Lucas ached to touch him and be touched by him but was unsure how to proceed.

Eliott finally turned his head to face him and smiled. His smile crinkled his eyes into small half-moons but not before Lucas could see that his pupils were blown wide and that they were filled with longing and desire. He wondered what he looked like to Eliott; Eliott looked like the sun to him. 

Eliott reached his hand out and Lucas grabbed hold of it as Eliott tugged him closer. He pulled him against him until their faces were inches apart, and then kissed him so softly Lucas felt his eyes sting with tears that he willed not to fall. Every nerve in Lucas's body tingled as Eliott deepened the kiss and touched his skin with his long, strong fingers. He left a trail of heat as he grazed Lucas's body with his fingertips and mouth, trailed kisses on his shoulders, chest, and stomach.

Lucas moaned as Eliott pulled himself back up to kiss him again, tasting every inch of his mouth. Lucas was hungry with a need he couldn’t name, it was part physical but mostly something else, something more; he, however, wanted to grind that need out against Eliott, and his lips wanted to release it by returning every kiss Eliott gave him. The sky outside finally broke as light rain turned into a torrential downpour outside the window. Twilight turned to dawn as they kissed and held each other through the night. As sunlight filtered through the curtain, Lucas finally felt sated enough to fall asleep on Eliott's chest. He could feel the small smile on Eliott's lips as he kissed him on the forehead before finally closing his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Lucas lifted his head from the pillow and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The bed was empty beside him, the sheets cold. He sat up and stretched as memories from the night before flooded his mind and made him smile. Noises of pots banging and music playing came from the front of the apartment; he smelled something bready and buttery, and his stomach growled in response.

Lucas walked over to Eliott's drawer and found a pair of faded gray jogging pants. They were big on him, but he managed to cuff the bottom of the legs and cinch the waist as tightly as it would go. When he walked in the kitchen, Eliott was stirring something in an overboiling pot. He was wearing his boxers and a red apron. Lucas admired the view before walking over to hug him from behind.

He looked at the long, wooden table at the rear of the kitchen; it was laden with enough food to feed twenty people -- stacks of crepes, a plate of waffles, a skillet of eggs, and a bowl of what looked like porridge. A bowl of fruit and a bowl of potatoes and sausage sat on the counter.

"Hey, baby," Eliott said, turning around to kiss Lucas on the lips. 

"Umm, is that more porridge?"

"No, it's polenta, and the other dish isn't porridge."

"Then what is it?"

Eliott looked over at the table and shrugged. "Not sure, I've kind of lost track of everything I've made so far."

"Do you think we have enough food?" Are Idriss and Sofiane coming back today...are they bringing an army back with them?"

Eliott huffed out a laugh. "I just wanted to give you some choices. You can eat a little bit of everything."

Lucas wasn't used to so much food; most mornings he grabbed tea and whatever he could scavenge from the small fridge in his dorm room. He'd gulp it all down in a couple of bites before dashing to class.

"Do you need some help?"

"Can you make the tea; I think there's some right there?" Eliott pointed to the cabinet beside him.

Lucas reached around him and grabbed tea items before filling a kettle with water. Once everything was done, he placed the steaming mugs on the small table in the dining room. He looked around the living room. Three large floor-to-ceiling windows dominated the far wall, and the furnishings were way more sophisticated than he expected for a bunch of college students.

There were matte framed black and white photographs on the walls and a collection of masks that looked like they belonged to a globe-trotting traveler; expensive-looking art with custom lighting adorned the walls. Everything was eclectic and worn, but nice; the space looked like something out of a magazine.

Eliott walked into the room, a bowl of steamy polenta in his mittened hands. "Let's eat, babe."

They toasted to each other and dug in. Lucas was full after only a few bites, but he ate past his point of comfort because he didn't want to waste all the food Eliott had cooked for him.

"Thank you for cooking for me. No one has ever done anything like this for me."

"I wanted to celebrate you and the fact that I had both the best piano player and the hottest guy in the world in my bed last night. You did such a great job last night...you know, at the Ball."

"Thank you." Lucas wasn't used to anyone complimenting him as much as Eliott did. He didn't feel like a guy that would be described as "hot", but he somehow felt worthy of that kind of admiration through Eliott's eyes. "Speaking of last night, did you end up winning that art piece?"

"No, the other donors quickly bid me out of my comfort zone."

Lucas narrowed his eyes. "You have an art bidding comfort zone? I thought you were just trying to increase the bid to get more money for the scholarships. I can barely keep enough money on my dining card to afford dinner at school."

"If you ever need anything, you can always come by here...we keep more than enough on hand."

Lucas frowned causing Eliott to shake his head. "It's not a handout, Lucas. Idriss's mom is always sending us loads of food for the week, and it's really, really good. I just don't want my boyfriend to worry about food when I have plenty here, okay?"

Lucas nodded and took another sip of tea. He enjoyed Eliott's casual use of the word, "boyfriend".

"Did you guys use a decorator or something? Your place looks like it belongs to some world-traveling art collector rather than a bunch of third-year college students."

"My mom sells real estate and dabbles in decorating, so she had most of the apartment set up for us." Eliott paused. "And I'm an art major, so there's that..."

"Oh, really?" Lucas considered asking him if he knew the art grad student who was supposed to be Raccoon, Demetri, but remembered what happened the time before and refrained. It didn't matter anyway.

"Kindred art students...we will have love, but no money," Eliott lifted his tea mug for a toast and Lucas obliged, laughing.

"Sounds kinda romantic." Lucas knew he was blushing, but he was so happy, giddy from Eliott's implied words of a future together.

"You're saying that now, just wait until we're eating polenta for breakfast, lunch, and dinner," Eliott teased.

"We'll have music and art, it will feed our souls and nourish our bodies."

Eliott smiled and leaned over to pull Lucas's face to his own; he placed a kiss against his mouth. Lucas noticed Eliott's smile briefly falter, caught a glimpse of sadness in his blue-gray eyes that made his heart skip a beat, but Eliott quickly recovered before kissing him again and standing to clear the table. Lucas watched him walk to the kitchen, wondering what had just passed through his mind.

He wanted to ask but instead settled for something mundane, not wanting to ruin the levity of their morning together. "Do you want me to try to save some of this for Idriss and Sofiane?"

"They won't be back for another couple of days. You can take some to your roommate or friends if you want."

Lucas nodded and gathered items to pack for his friends.

"So, how is your search for Raccoon going?" Eliott asked.

Lucas was taken aback at Eliott's question. He had tried to refrain from mentioning Raccoon. "I gave that up...it doesn't matter as much anymore."

"Really, you're over him? He doesn't do it for you anymore?" Eliott returned to the dining table and sat down to finish his tea. He looked up at Lucas, seemingly very interested in what Lucas would say.

Lucas blushed; so he hadn't done such a great job of hiding his former obsession with Racoon from Eliott. "I guess I'm over the fantasy I had in my head. Don't get me wrong, I still greatly admire his work...even the weird little raccoons and hedgehogs he's been drawing lately."

"You think they're weird? I personally think hedgehogs are the cutest thing."

Lucas laughed. "Umm, yeah they are cute, but his new stuff seems a little weird compared to what he did before." Lucas shrugged. "But I like weird sometimes; I just don't need to meet him anymore. I can still appreciate his work."

Eliott laughed again and leaned over to kiss him once more. He ruffled his hair, which probably was a bird's nest since he hadn't even attempted to fix it that morning.

"What's so funny?" Lucas asked.

"You're just very cute." Eliott took a deep breath and frowned. "So, I really wish we could continue this indefinitely, and you're free to stay as long as you want, but I have a meeting to go to in the next hour for a big project I'm working on for school. I'll give you the spare key we keep here for emergencies, and you can just give it to me the next time I see you. I remember the small dorm rooms and communal showers, so take your time, take a shower, hang out. You can wear something of mine instead of putting your tux back on."

He didn't want him to go, couldn't even imagine being apart from Eliott, which he could admit was worrisome. "When can I see you, again?" 

"Soon. I have a trip coming up in a couple of weeks, and I have to prepare for that, but when I get back, I'll have a lot more time."

Why did he feel like he was going to cry? He internally scolded himself; he had to get a grip.

****

Several days later, Lucas sat on the floor of Arthur's room staring at his messages. Yann and Basile had also stopped by to help Lucas with his new dilemma.

"Didn't Eliott say he has a project and a trip to prepare for?" Yann asked, looking up from his phone.

"Yes, but he's barely responding to my texts...again. He's not answering my calls. I don't understand why he's so hot and cold; we're supposed to be in an actual relationship now."

"That was pretty fast, Lucas. Even you have to admit that." Arthur looked at him; worry furrowed his brow.

"I know, but we just have this connection...even though we haven't actually...you know...fully connected, yet." His friends had been elated for him about the turn of events after the Ball but had expressed their concern that he and Eliott were moving a little fast.

"Sooo, third base but no home run? That sucks," Basile teased.

Lucas stuck his tongue out at Basile.

"But you made it pretty far, huh? I tell you it was the hair," Arthur boasted.

Lucas laughed, "Yes, thank you for fixing my hair, Arthur; it got me a boyfriend."

"You joke about these things, but you had no boyfriend before I did my work and a boyfriend a few hours later."

Basile laughed. "Ah, Arthur - the Cosmetologist." 

"You're laughing now, but I can give you a makeover to help win Daphne over." Arthur rubbed his hands together. 

Oh, yeah," Lucas chimed in. "Now that Operation Raccoon is over, we need to focus on helping Basile. He's the only one who hasn't had any action in a while."

"You're not getting anywhere near my head!" Basile exclaimed as Arthur went to his bathroom and returned holding a brush and mousse. "No mousse shall touch my precious curls." Basile ran out of the room as Arthur chased him with the hair products.

Yann looked over at Lucas. "Are you okay?"

"No, I miss him," Lucas admitted. "I know you think we're moving too fast, and it's weird for me to feel like this."

"No, I get it. I've been there."

"With the bartender?"

"No...with Emma." He gave him a pointed look. "That feeling is the best, Lu, and I'm happy for you, but being in love kinda sucks sometimes, too."

Lucas nodded. "Do you have Idriss's number?"

Yann nodded and forwarded the contact information to his phone. Lucas called the number. After a few rings, Idriss picked up.

"Who's this?"

"Idriss, it's me, Lucas."

There was a long pause on the other end. "He's busy, Lucas." He heard noises in the background. 

"So he's there, and he's not lying hurt and confused in a ditch somewhere? His phone is still working?" Lucas tried to keep his cool but could feel himself getting riled up from the hurt and anger. He heard someone curse in the background; it sounded like Eliott. 

"Lucas, he said he'll call you as soon as he can. He promises."

Lucas took a deep breath. He remembered the night of the Ball, the way Eliott had looked at him, the way he had kissed him. He knew he couldn't be the only one feeling the way he felt, but if he was, he needed to cut it off immediately, snatch the band-aid right off, bleed out on the floor and start again. If his past prepared him for nothing else, it prepared him for disappointment from the people he needed most. He would survive it.

"Put him on the phone, Idriss."

Idriss cursed. He heard muffled sounds and then silence as if Idriss had muted his phone.

"Lucas, I will call you." It was Eliott. He sounded different, tired and sad. 

"I'm coming over."

"Lucas...don't come over."

"See you in a few." Lucas hung up. His phone buzzed with a text message a few seconds later, but he cut his phone off and put it in his pocket.

He looked over at Yann.

"Well, okay then...good luck." 

Lucas nodded and headed out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Lucas made another stop before heading to Eliott's. When he knocked on the door, Idriss cracked the door open, keeping the chain locked at the top.

"This is not a good time. He isn't feeling well, Lucas."

Lucas held up the bag in his hands. "I got him blueberry bacon muffins. He won't be able to resist this smile and these muffins." Lucas held the bag up and plastered a big, silly grin on his face.

Idriss huffed out a laugh but didn't unlock the door. "Give me the muffins. I'll make sure he gets them."

Lucas pulled the bag away and put it behind his back. "It's a package deal...the muffins and I come in together."

"Hold on." Idriss closed the door. He heard muffled sounds in the room but couldn't make out what was being said. He sat down on the floor, his back to the door. Idriss cracked the door open, again, causing Lucas to fall back a little. "Eliott said he will call you later tonight and will meet you somewhere tomorrow."

Lucas turned his head upward. “Tell him no deal. And remind him that I have a key, and if he doesn't come out, I will be coming in."

"He gave you a key?" Idriss sighed. "We have the chain on the door, Lucas."

"I'm small but strong." Lucas didn't know if he could break through the door and wouldn't actually do it. He hoped Idriss didn't call his bluff.

Idriss chuckled. "You know, maybe he needs someone who is just as fucking stubborn as he is. Hold on; give me a minute, and I'll let you in."

Lucas's heart was racing. He had a brave, take-no-prisoners attitude, but his hands were shaking. He put them between his bent knees to steady them.

After a few minutes passed, Idriss opened the door wide and gestured for him to enter. He stood up and walked into the apartment.

A guy of medium build, with dark, thick hair was sitting on the couch. He turned around to face him. "Hey, Lucas!"

Lucas stepped into the living area. "You must be Sofiane."

"Nice to finally meet you. I heard a whole whole lot about you,” Sofiane said, extending his hand, which Lucas quickly shook. Sofiane had a nice, warm smile.

"Good things I hope."

"All good. I expected you to be walking on water or something quite honestly."

Idriss gave him a disapproving look, and Sofiane laughed and put his hands up. 

"You know I have to give my blessing for you to date my sister," Idriss said, as he sat in the armchair next to the couch. "I don't know if I want her dating a smart ass."

Sofiane threw a pillow at Idriss who chuckled as he blocked it with his hands before turning to glance at the television. They all sat in silence for a few seconds; Lucas stood awkwardly near the back of the sofa. 

Idriss cleared his throat and looked back at Lucas. "Lucas, he's not well right now. You can go back there, but it may be difficult talking to him when he's like this. Anyway, just let me know if you need anything...good luck."

"Good luck" sounded so ominous; Lucas felt something settle hard and heavy in his belly, but he took a deep breath and headed down the hallway toward Eliott's room. He stood for a few seconds outside of the door wondering if he was being too pushy, too needy. Maybe he should have respected Eliott's wishes to be left alone, but it was too late. He needed to see him like he needed air to breathe. Yann always said he was way too dramatic, but here he was, tempting fate, setting himself up for heartache.

Eliott didn't respond to his knock on the door, so he slowly turned the knob and pushed it open to peer inside. The room was dark, although muted light filtered through the closed curtains. Eliott lay in his bed. He was turned away from the door with the covers pulled over his head. Lucas shut the door behind him but didn’t know what to do next, so he just stood there staring at Eliott's back.

"Lucas, I told you I didn’t want company today." Eliott didn't turn to face him, remained motionless underneath the blankets.

"I apologize, but I really needed to see you, El."

More seconds passed and Eliott was silent. Lucas didn't know if he had fallen asleep or if he was just ignoring him. Somehow he knew he was not sleeping, that he was staring at the far wall beneath his cocoon of blankets.

"Is it ok if I lay beside you?" Lucas tentatively asked.

Eliott still didn't say a word only flicked the covers to make space without turning around. The bed creaked as Lucas sat down. He placed the bag of muffins on the bedside table before laying awkwardly on his back, fingers steepled, staring at the ceiling for several minutes. He hadn't noticed it the last time he was in the room, but there were glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling, the kind you would find in a child's bedroom. It was at odds with the rest of the sophisticated furniture in the apartment. For some reason, they made Lucas smile.

“Eliott?”

Eliott humphed in response. 

“Are you ok?” Lucas now had a suspicion of what was going on with Eliott. His mother had struggled with depression for as long as he could remember. There had been golden days, even golden years, but the ugly monster of unyielding darkness always reared its ugly head, always dragged her down into its darkest lair where she found it difficult to climb above to the light. She had been better in recent years, but when his dad left them to start a new family, his mother's depression had gotten so bad that she had to be hospitalized. He knew almost on sight what that beast looked like. It haunted him in dreams every once in a while.

“I’ll be fine," Eliott finally muttered.

“Can I hold you?"

There was another long pause. “That’s fine.”

He wrapped his arm around Eliott, snuggled against his warmth. Eliott could reject him after this, but he wanted him to know his depression didn’t scare him. He just wanted to be near him. The light streaming through the window changed to dusky twilight. Lucas dozed in and out of sleep, once waking to see Idriss peeking in the door to check on them. Idriss nodded at Lucas and then shut the door behind him. 

Sometime in the night, Lucas turned around to face the other way. When he woke, Eliott had turned, his arm now hanging loosely across Lucas’s midsection. Lucas grabbed his hand, and Eliott squeezed it before he pressed his body flush against Lucas's back. Lucas fell asleep again and didn't wake until early morning light streamed through the window.

“Are you up?”

“Yeah...thank you for staying with me."

Lucas turned around to face him. "What's going on?"

Eliott paused for a minute before responding. "I have bipolar disorder. I take medication for it, but sometimes I still have extreme mood swings. When I'm up, I can be impulsive, make some really bad decisions, and when I'm down, I can be stuck in bed for weeks, not able to get up and do much...I can also get pretty distant and mean then.”

"So the night of the Ball and the morning after...did you mean any of that?"

Eliott sighed. "Lucas, I meant all of it. I may have moved a little faster with you than I normally would have, but everything I said and did was real...and I meant it. I wanted to make this work."

"Wanted...as in past tense?"

Eliott grabbed his face lightly between his hands. "I don't want you to have to deal with this. You should be having fun, dating a bunch of guys, living carefree and happy...you shouldn't be weighed down dealing with my shit. You should go; we can talk about this later. I don't want you sitting here sad, watching me sleep."

"I'm not sad, Eliott, and I can't think of any other place I would rather be than right here with you."

Eliott shook his head. "You told me about all the shit you dealt with when your mother was ill. I don't want you to have to go through anything like that again."

"I didn't explain myself well when I told you those things about my past. I didn't know what you were going through. My mom and I actually get along really well now. When my dad left, my mom's depression got so bad that she had to be hospitalized. My dad had left us to deal with all of the shit. I was really mad at him, but for some reason, I blamed her. I've apologized since then...And I think that makes me particularly well suited to deal with your stuff."

Lucas paused, gathered his thoughts. "I was going through so much then, all the stuff at school, me coming out and dealing with everything that goes with that; I just found it hard to balance everything. It was hard for me to be able to be there for the people who needed me the most. My mom wasn't the only one I let down."

"You're too hard on yourself. You have one of the best hearts I’ve ever come across, and your light is so bright...I just wanted to be near that. But I will change that part of you, I will make your life a living hell, and when we implode and take my word for it, we will, it will be because of me. I don't want that for you, Lucas."

"So I'm a kid now? I don't get to make decisions about my own life? Listen, Eliott, I would rather be upset because of you than not be with you. And how do you know what will happen?" Eliott shook his head, but Lucas put his finger to his lips. "You don't know, you can't know."

"You don't know me, Lucas...we just met."

"I know. But I feel like I've known you for a very long time." Eliott had gone quiet. "Are you scared? Are you trying to run away, again?"

"I won't keep jerking you around; I know all this back and forth is tiring. I wanted to make it work; you don't know how badly I wanted it to work."

Lucas looked down not wanting Eliott to see the silent tears that had finally broken free. "You know that song I played that night at the Ball? It's called Minute by Minute. I don't think I thought much about its meaning before, but I think I understand it better now. We can't waste energy guessing and worrying about what will happen when we have now to enjoy. We should live each moment fully. "

He finally looked up, and the love he saw in Eliott's blue-gray eyes gave him strength, was a buoy in the storm of his emotions. "You do that for me, Eliott. You force me to live in the moment...even now. My life before meeting you was make-believe, me pining over people who weren't accessible in any real way. It was easier to do that than risk someone disappointing me, again, leaving me when I needed them most. I risked nothing, so felt nothing real. It was easier to live in that fantasy world than face reality, but this reality with you is better than any dream I could have imagined. I can't force you to be with me, but I hope you don't throw something away that I think could be pretty damn amazing just because you're scared."

Eliott wiped the tears that had fallen from his eyes and kissed him softly on the lips. "You're an angel."

"I'm no angel, and let my friends tell it, I can be pretty dramatic and difficult."

"I think I love dramatic and difficult...and stubborn."

"So...minute by minute?"

Eliott smiled and nodded. He kissed Lucas again and then deepened the kiss until Lucas felt like his heart would burst from the hope that overwhelmed him. Eliott slowly pulled back and wrapped his arms around him, pulled him close. Lucas breathed in his scent, he smelled of summer and cigarettes, and something sweet, like strawberries. Lucas pushed his face into Eliott’s chest and closed his eyes as he breathed a sigh of relief. 

"I can leave if you need your space," Lucas whispered into his chest.

"No, I want you to stay."

"I have blueberry bacon muffins."

He felt Eliott's small smile as he kissed him on the top of his head. "See, I knew you were an angel."

****

A week later, Lucas lay in his bed. He hadn't heard from Eliott in a week, but at least he had promised to call him as soon as he returned from the States. Lucas knew what they had was still fragile, but they were taking it day by day, minute by minute. He was trying to be strong but hadn't felt like going out that week, so he had holed himself up in his room.

The campus was quiet, and he had the room to himself as most students were on spring holiday break and had returned to spend time at home. Yann and Arthur were still on campus and had tried to convince him to hang out with them, but he had declined. He didn't want his friends to make him feel better; he wanted to wallow in his sadness, so he had purchased alcohol the day before and tried to drink all the worrisome emotions away.

His dreams had been dark and weird. He dreamed of Eliott’s face and hands, the painting in La Petite Ceinture, and raccoons and hedgehogs along with the Creature from the Black Lagoon abducting him in a spaceship.

He woke up groggy and tired but sat up to check his phone. Eliott hadn't texted or called, but there were several messages from Arthur and Yann. He answered the last one from Yann.

** Yann**: Did you see the new painting from Raccoon? 

**Lucas**: No, I've just been lying in bed all day. What's going on?

**Yann**: Raccoon painted something in the States. He's international now.

**Lucas**: That's good for him.

** Yann**: The work is being donated to raise money for a charity that helps teens who struggle with depression and other mental illnesses.

**Lucas**: That is really nice of him.

** Yann**: Lucas...🙄

**Yann**: The painting he did for the charity is of a hedgehog playing the piano.

**Lucas**: And?

**Yann**: There are little notes above the painting and the words, "Minute by Minute"

** Lucas**: 😮

****

Later that night he heard his phone ring. His mind had been reeling from the news all day. Eliott was Raccoon? Eliott was Raccoon. He ignored the phone; he would call his friends later. He was still trying to wrap his brain around the fact that his boyfriend was Raccoon.

There was a pounding on his door. He got up to open it and was shocked to see Eliott standing on the other side.

"I've been trying to call you. I want to show you something." Eliott grabbed his hand, but Lucas pulled back.

"Why didn't you tell me? You knew I was trying to figure out who Raccoon was."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just wasn't ready to share that just yet, and it was kind of fun to see you fanboy over me without actually knowing it was me."

Lucas narrowed his eyes. "It was not fun for me."

Eliott stepped forward and hugged him. "I'm sorry, baby. Will you forgive me?" He planted a kiss on his head.

Lucas knew he couldn't stay mad at Eliott for long. He had missed him so much and now he was standing right in front of him. He could touch him, kiss him. He could not contain the wide grin that burst from his face. "Of course."

"So you're feeling better?" Lucas asked.

Eliott nodded his head. "Yes, and I had a successful trip to the States. I'm sorry I didn't call, but we were trying to keep everything under wraps and my agent thought it would be better if I kept communication to a minimum. There are only a few people who know I'm Raccoon."

"Imane?"

"Yes, that bag of supplies was for me. Idriss and Sofiane know, too, and about five other people...and now you and your friends know."

"You have an agent?”

Eliott laughed. "Yes, she handles the selling of my commissioned pieces so that I can keep my anonymity. We've been successful so far until that article exposed Idriss. That was a close call, but if that hadn't happened, I may never have met you, so I'm glad it did."

"I think we would have met somehow, some way."

"You might be right." Eliott smiled at Lucas, and Lucas was again reminded of the sun. "Throw on some pants, I want to show you something."

A few minutes later and they were standing outside the east wall of Lucas's dorm building. Raccoon...or rather Eliott had painted another picture of a hedgehog and raccoon. This time the two animals were kissing near a river; the moon and stars were above them as raindrops fell around them. Above the painting, Eliott had written three words, "I love you."

Eliott turned to face him. "This will be my last raccoon and hedgehog painting. The fans think they're endearing, but my agent thinks I need to mix it up a little, again."

Lucas laughed. "So I'm a hedgehog. I get the raccoon -- the mask, the anonymity, but why the hedgehog?"

Eliott smiled and ruffled Lucas's hair, which caused him to blush and laugh out loud. "Oh."

"I love your hair...and I love you, Lucas.”

"I love you, too, Eliott."

"So two things...I’m not ready to reveal my identity, so do you think you can convince your friends to keep it a secret for now?"

"They will...and the second thing?"

"Can I kiss you, again?"

Lucas nodded. He felt something wet as Eliott grabbed his face. There was still paint on Eliott's fingers, and he knew there was probably paint on his clothes, in his hair, and on his face now, but as Eliott's lips met his, he didn't mind. He didn’t mind at all.


End file.
